Two vs. One

It's funny. I look at Mason while I'm holding him and have a hard time believing he has only been in the world with us for 10 short days. He has meshed into our family so seamlessly that it seems like he has always been there. He is nursing like a champ, sleeping wonderfully, and is overall a pretty content baby. At moments, it seems like being a mother of two is just as easy as being a mother of one. After all, with his good sleeping so far, I'm feeling more rested and productive than when I was home with Adalyn as a newborn.

It's not always that way though, and this will probably come across as the Captain Obvious statement of the year, but being a mother of two is more challenging than being a mother of one. I'm officially outnumbered and worst of all, Adalyn realizes it! My lazy susan cupboard has been rearranged and emptied more times than I can count. As soon as I sit down to nurse Mason, it's like she realizes this is her golden opportunity to get into some sort of trouble. Splashing in the dog's water bowl is another favorite nursing-time activity for Adalyn these days.

More recently she has decided that the moment I turn my back is the perfect chance for her to love on baby brother. And by love on him I mean lift him out of his Rock and Play and carry him across the room. Yep, that's right, I said it. Last night, while I was in the same room but distracted she lifted him out and carried him about 10 feet towards me by his pajamas. Sweet little man never even woke up from his nap but man oh man did my heart skip a few beats! I'm being exta cautious and observant of her now because of this, but despite my over diligence, she managed to do it again this morning. Adalyn was snuggled up on the couch with her blanket watching a movie when I realized I had been up for two hours and still hadn't made it to the bathroom. Even moms have to pee now and again. So I wandered over to the powder room and even left the door open so I could audibly monitor my trouble-causing nearly two year old. Sure enough, during my 20 second trip to the bathroom she had once again wrangled him out of his Rock and Play and laid him on the couch. My mom recalls coming up the basement steps and catching me (at pretty much the exact age) carrying my little sister and trying to put her in my doll baby stroller, so I guess it's true what they say. Children are our best payback....

Aside from the inability to turn my back for a single second is my constant internal battle I have with myself each and every day. Am I holding Mason enough? Am I holding him too much? Is Adalyn getting enough love and cuddles? Are we doing enough fun things? Is Adalyn stuck in the house too much? But it's too hot to take Mason outside... Is Mason getting neglected his cuddle time because I'm too concerned with making sure Adalyn doesn't feel left out? Is she watching too much television and movies? Am I telling Adalyn "no" too much? Is she going to associate me scolding her with the new baby? Wow... my head is spinning just typing all of those questions.  These thoughts go through my head constantly and I still don't have the right answer.

I guess no mom really ever has the right answer. You just do your best and do what you feel is best for the little ones at any particular moment. Maybe I'm right sometimes, maybe I'm wrong others. These two tiny people are my entire world and heart and they deserve my effort. So while I ponder these questions and search for the "right" answers I'll just keep plugging along and trying to score a few wins in this two vs. one battle.....