16 weeks

I'm having such an internal battle in my head with this pregnancy. Scott has made it known that he would really rather only have two children. I think he's worried more about the financial strain that more than two would put on us, not so much the hectic crazy lifestyle of having a large family. I have a very small family and Scott's is even smaller. I want Addy to have what I didn't. A big family. Poor girl only has one "true" aunt. We have a few close friends that she will consider "aunts" and "uncles" but aside from that, her family is tiny.

So why the internal battle? It's been a rough pregnancy so far. Horrible headaches, early onset heartburn, over two weeks now of the flu and cold symptoms. I want so desperately to enjoy each and every second of this pregnancy (in case it will be my last... just writing that makes my heart break) rather than spend the majority of the time complaining about how I feel. But I'm having such a hard time doing that as I feel so horrible. I can't imagine only spending 24 weeks of the rest of my life with a little one growing inside of me. I don't think any man can truly understand or appreciate the amazingness of being pregnant. I hope in a few years he changes his mind, or God graces us a with a surprise miracle!

Started feeling those teeny tiny baby kicks this weekend and that has helped remind me how wonderful this pregnancy is, and how blessed I am to be having a healthy pregnancy so far. Each little kick is a reminder of the little vivacious person growing in my belly. It's hard to believe that next month at this time we will be halfway to meeting our little bundle and that in two short weeks we will (hopefully) know if baby is a boy or girl.